# Invader Zim Quote Autoresponder
# Script built by Brandon Harris <bharris@gaijin.com>
# Modified from zippy.irc, originally converted to irc II format by
# burrito!burrito@ludd.luth.se
# Quotes collected by Gina Sanfillipo <lucretia@notagoth.com>
# Minor bugfix by Cyanide Mike <mpb@visionreflex.net>
# More quotes added by Zach White <zwhite@darkstar.frop.org>

# This file was autogenerated by zim.py, written by Zach White. If you
# did not get this by generating it from the python script, get the latest
# copy from http://darkstar.frop.org/~zwhite/.

# If you add new quotes, you have to change all instances of "$rand(71)"
# to the new number of entries in the list (below).

echo *** loading Invader Zim quotes, /zim <nick/#channel>
alias zim {
  if ([$0]) {
    msg $0 $ZIM[$rand($num_quotes)]
  }{
    say $ZIM[$rand($num_quotes)]
  }
}
eval $srand($time())

# This is the primary autoresponder.
on -public "% % *zim*" {
  @ jugula = [$ZIM[$rand($num_quotes)]]
  eval quote privmsg $1 :$jugula
  wait -cmd eval echo $1> $jugula
}

# This is the secondary autoresponder.
on -public_other "% % *zim*" {
  @ jugula = [$ZIM[$rand($num_quotes)]]
  eval quote privmsg $1 :$jugula
  wait -cmd eval echo $1> $jugula
}

# Allow the user to turn off or on the zim engine
/alias zim-off {
  echo $out.pre ^BINVADER ZIM is off^B
  on -public "* * zim*" { }
}

/alias zim-on {
  echo $out.pre ^BINVADER ZIM is on^B
  on -public "* * zim*" {
    @ jugula = [$ZIM[$rand($num_quotes)]]
    eval quote privmsg $1 :$jugula
    wait -cmd eval echo > $jugula
  }
}
assign ZIM[0] (returning from bathroom)  My BUSINESS...is done.
assign ZIM[1] I had much tooo dooo!  So much!
assign ZIM[2] Ms. Bitters?  I have a MIGHTY NEED to use the restroom once again.
assign ZIM[3] LEAVE NO EVIDENCE!
assign ZIM[4] Yes, so very alive! And full of goo. Mission goo.
assign ZIM[5] Now watch me AMAZE you!
assign ZIM[6] They've boobie-trapped their sun somehow!
assign ZIM[7] I'm going to beat you city. YOU WON'T MAKE A FOOL OF THIS IRKIN INVADER!
assign ZIM[8] You see, at the end of this wormhole lies...A ROOM...WITH A MOOSE!
assign ZIM[9] You speak craziness earth boy. More organs means more human. It WILL work.
assign ZIM[10] In the event of say a full scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defences would be? Tell me!
assign ZIM[11] This place is just begging to be destroyed!
assign ZIM[12] Now HUMAN, Take me to, THAT WAY!
assign ZIM[13] Hello friends, I am a perfectly normal human worm baby.
assign ZIM[14] Explodes on impact with giant weenie
assign ZIM[15] This "cuteness" has a curious effect on human beings.  Makes them...weak.
assign ZIM[16] PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE.
assign ZIM[17] I already got away with it! See, look out the window, I would say I've gotten away with it pretty nicely.
assign ZIM[18] YES, my creation.  GROW, grow.
assign ZIM[19] Gir! Get out of there and back into your own body!
assign ZIM[20] Ow! My organs!
assign ZIM[21] NO! YOU WILL NOT DESTROY YOUR MASTER'S BASE!
assign ZIM[22] Do not invoke the wrath of the Irkin elite!
assign ZIM[23] The madness! The madness!
assign ZIM[24] Come here, you must obey me.  I am your lord and hamstermaster.  No, no, don't fear the Peepi, fear me.  FEEEAAR MEE!
assign ZIM[25] Pretend it's a taco!
assign ZIM[26] Shut your noise tube, taco human.
assign ZIM[27] I will give you tacos.  Oh, such tacos will I giiiive!
assign ZIM[28] And now, to unleash screaming temporal doom.
assign ZIM[29] More piggies, Gir.  I DEMAND PIIIGGIES!
assign ZIM[30] These are for science.  SCIENCE!
assign ZIM[31] The weenie tempts you!
assign ZIM[32] Now, back to my foofy evil I guess.
assign ZIM[33] Of course! What oh! Such rain we had! It was delicious.
assign ZIM[34] I wanna be a mongoose.
assign ZIM[35] Can I be a mongoose dog?
assign ZIM[36] If I rule McMeaties... I rule the world!
assign ZIM[37] We want to destroy these people, not ask them for help.  The mere thought of it makes me...make little...sicky noises.
assign ZIM[38] The earth is safe.  I did it, Gir!  Now let's go destroy it.
assign ZIM[39] Nothing breeches my defenses, nothing!  You hear me squirrelboy? NOOOOOTHIIIIING!
assign ZIM[40] This hideous blemish appears to have hypnotic powers.
assign ZIM[41] Gir! Quickly! RIDE THE PIG!
assign ZIM[42] I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doom, doom doom doom, doom doom DOOM!
assign ZIM[43] Faster my pig, FASTER!
assign ZIM[44] Come my filthy stink children.  You shall reveal your secrets to Pustulio in the privacy of the classroom.
assign ZIM[45] (sniffs) Aaaaar, what is that, aaaargh, stink?  Uuuh, some kind of defense mechanism?!
assign ZIM[46] I knew it!  Earth babies come from space!
assign ZIM[47] Now Dib, let's see what you look like with all your organs ON THE OUTSIDE!
assign ZIM[48] I have already stuffed my normal human belly so full of delicious human FILTH than I could not eat another bite.
assign ZIM[49] I'll be in my lab bathing in paste, don't disturb me.
assign ZIM[50] That's it, Dib.  Laugh now, yes.  Laugh and frolic in your vile...meats of evil.  MEATS OF EVIL.  But know that vengance shall be mine.  OH!  How it will be mine.
assign ZIM[51] I am ZIM. Take me to the MEAT.
assign ZIM[52] Is it a fair fight?  Is this...moose...creature wielding any type of projectile weapons?
assign ZIM[53] Zim! Don't use the time machine. Love, ZIM!
assign ZIM[54] There is no cure!  And I'll never make it stop!  You might as well resign yourself to your meaty fate.  I told you you would forever rue the day you messed with ZIM!  Now!  Begin your ruing!  I'll just sit here and...watch. HA HA HA HA HA HA!
assign ZIM[55] HA HA HA HA HA HA!
assign ZIM[56] The dogs!  After my juicy meat body of baloney meat!
assign ZIM[57] You have to observe what these, earthenoids, consider normal.
assign ZIM[58] It's like you said, the children try to end the hunger for sweetness in their rumbling, undead bellies.
assign ZIM[59] Soon they'll all be after my delicious GUTS!
assign ZIM[60] This is no MAN pig!
assign ZIM[61] Stand away you smell like feet! LEAVE ME ALONE!
assign ZIM[62] They've mutated, Gir.  They were disgusting before, but this hunger makes them even more!
assign ZIM[63] Get away from my blood!
assign ZIM[64] SILENCE! Twist those knobs! Twist those knobs! YOU! Pull some levers!
assign ZIM[65] LIKE GIANT RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS!
assign ZIM[66] THE PANTS COMMAND ME!
assign ZIM[67] Finnally! A robot slave of my own.
assign ZIM[68] Help?!  YOU come to me, your GREATEST, most amazing ENEMY?  Your future slavemaster and you ask for help?!
assign ZIM[69] Be gone with you.  I've had enough of your nonsense and your smelly mouth filled with...corn!
assign ZIM[70] So this, rain. Is it poisonous?
assign ZIM[71] As soon as my skeleton stops being broken, I'm going to destroy you, Dib.
assign ZIM[72] GIR! I've been captured! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! ... No thats bad, gir. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!.
assign ZIM[73] I will rule you ALL with an Iron Fist.
assign ZIM[74] Then I will work my way to up RULING YOU ALL with my FIST. YOU! OBEY THE FIST!
assign ZIM[75] I like this show
assign ZIM[76] (on skool intercom) All these children get to go to a special place made entirely of food.  I like food.
assign ZIM[77] TACOOOOOOS!
assign ZIM[78] Tacotacotaco.
assign ZIM[79] Saaaaay pleeeeeease.
assign ZIM[80] Where's my moose?
assign ZIM[81] That's my favorite phase.
assign ZIM[82] Do a little dance.
assign ZIM[83] I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me.
assign ZIM[84] I'm gonna make toast.
assign ZIM[85] I'm gonna get me some of these tacooooos!
assign ZIM[86] That's a government pig.
assign ZIM[87] BURRRRRRRRRIIIIIITOOOOOOOOO!
assign ZIM[88] I love the little tacos.  I love them good.
assign ZIM[89] But I neeeeed tacos!  I need them or I will explode.  That happens to me sometimes.
assign ZIM[90] Where's my mouth?!
assign ZIM[91] Why?!  Why my piggy?  I lovin' you piggy.  I lovin' yoooou!
assign ZIM[92] Tell me a story about giant pigs!
assign ZIM[93] I like babies!
assign ZIM[94] I gonna play with the babies!
assign ZIM[95] Doot dee doot doo NOW WE GO UP!
assign ZIM[96] Awwww, I wanted to explode.
assign ZIM[97] I love you cold unfeeling robot arm.
assign ZIM[98] What is it?
assign ZIM[99] Where's my moose?
assign ZIM[100] Anger in the houuuuse.
assign ZIM[101] My taquitos.  My taquitos!  Let me ouuuuut!
assign ZIM[102] We sure are proud of you, Son. We sure arrrrrrrrr.
assign ZIM[103] I said brush your teeth!
assign ZIM[104] Welcome home son.
assign ZIM[105] Hey...I'm delicious!  Gaz, taste me!  I'm delicious!
assign ZIM[106] What?  You're mind-controlling slobbery dogs now?  Real scary, space boy.
assign ZIM[107] Fine, maybe I don't know dad's first poop. But I can beat this test, with my superior knowledge of SCIENCE.
assign ZIM[108] A quick shower and your vengeance just washes right off.
assign ZIM[109] My whole life has been a miserable pig filled ordeal because of you.
assign ZIM[110] You can hide Zim, but you can't ... hide.
assign ZIM[111] Nope, still delicious.  No one should be this delicious!  What's going on?
assign ZIM[112] POOR LITTLE ZIM! All that alien power and brought now by a little earthly water!
assign ZIM[113] You guys are just begging to face the moose!
assign ZIM[114] BALONEY!  Zim has introduced baloney dna into my body?!
assign ZIM[115] Surely that was no HUMAN BEE.
assign ZIM[116] We wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for your stupid evil.
assign ZIM[117] Organs...sploding.
assign ZIM[118] Pig...commands me.
assign ZIM[119] Let it be known, that from this day, until the end of this day, vengence will be mine.
assign ZIM[120] Remember earlier, the whole bugging me thing? You're doing it again!
assign ZIM[121] Dib, you will not know the meaning of peace for I will reign misery down upon your pizza stealing heart!
assign ZIM[122] You do realize I will have to destroy you now.
assign ZIM[123] Dude.  Duuude.  I left my underwear on for a month once, and it kinda smells like he does.
assign ZIM[124] I'm a regular kid.  I just want to eat grubs!
assign ZIM[125] Get him!  Eat his feet off!
assign ZIM[126] Next time, we'll call your parents, OR legal guardian!
assign ZIM[127] Junior scientists chose your science tool! Now, let the battle begin!
assign ZIM[128] I guess old kid's an alien too.
assign ZIM[129] Yeah, and hi is sitting!
assign ZIM[130] Little guy betray me. Shump feel hurt like never before.
assign ZIM[131] You like ice cream. You like ice cream. You love it. You cannot resist ice cream. To resist is hopeless. Your existance is meaningless without ice cream.
assign ZIM[132] The boy's crazy. Put him in one of those crazy buckets.
assign ZIM[133] Tasty breakfast squids would sweap the nation!
assign ZIM[134] Like this giant fish in a bear suit!
assign ZIM[135] So that's two large tacos, a medium burrito and a Gir take us back to the base right now.
assign ZIM[136] The pig accepts ME!
assign ZIM[137] We start with the french fries. When we get promoted, then we work with meat.
assign ZIM[138] Rain rain rain! We love rain!
assign ZIM[139] What? You got your sandwhich!
assign ZIM[140] Bless the corns on my toes!
assign ZIM[141] Not now son. I'm making ... TOAST!
assign ZIM[142] Let the assigning begin!
assign ZIM[143] If there's one thing we understand, son, it's insanity.

^assign num_quotes 144